Been in a series of depression these past few weeks or months? I don't recall when, all I can remember is that I have this great desire to be alone and make everything stop.
All the pain. All the disappointments. I am tired. I want to stop. Everything.
They asked me why, why am I depressed? I have a good paying job, happy and healthy family, supportive and understanding friends. My life is basically doing good. But what I came to realize is that its not about your career, or your family, or friends or faith or the lack of it all. Its all in the head. And no thing is more powerful than our own mind. My mind won't stop thinking and running and its driving me crazy.
I tried to speak up. Make them understand, I know they tried. But they can't fully get it. I tried to be ok for all the people that loves me sake, I tried to be okay. At first I am actually feeling fine and hopeful that sooner or later I will be back to normal. NORMAL. What a luxury. But I guess being miserable is what I truly feel.
So it hits me. I cannot pick myself in the same place I lost my soul, my passion. I lost myself in this sad reality called life.
But I will bring back the old me. I will. I have to. So I'll be going back home.
