Phone Call

Last night I had a weird weird dream. A phone call from someone-you-should-not-know-who-cause-he-is-having-a-good-life-with-his-so-called-girlfriend-that-breaks-my-hearts-as-mush-as-his-bloody-belly-annoys-me. He's asking about internship something and my answers were beyond comprehensible cos I, myself, can't understand what I'm blabbering. Even in my dreams I am such a klutz, how come? And so the conversation was getting nowhere so he just asked me if I know *toot*, and I said yes soc she's my classmate and we're on the same group when we have a presentation for OJT. And that's it. He just asked me if I know that person, I thought he wants to know her number or something which I would gladly give. And I understand why he wants to know that girl, I mean she's the type of girl who draws attention with her gorgeous body and red lipstick, so I won't be surprised even if a guy whom dating someone would be interested in her. But no, he just asked and that's all, no more follow-up questions. Then I heard him talked with his friends (yes, that dream felt soooo real), he said that he's still talking with someone. And stating the obvious that someone is me.

I want to ask him why he's calling and where the heck did he got my number in the first place. We don't have mutual friends for the love of heavens. But before I can say a word he asked for my name and I was like 'OMG man, we've been talking for like 3 minutes and yet you don't know my name?' but then it's just a dream. An effing bloody dream that made no sense. So I told him my name, silence, I heard him breath, vexing, when will you stop breathing? Then when he run out of questions, he draw the final straw. He asked me if I'm done talking. That's a rhetorical question right? Cos I'm barely talking in the first place cos he's doing a good job doing that on his own. But dead silence on the other side so I just answered him anyway. He said okay and asked if who'll hang up first which is funny cos I never hang up in a call unless I'm the one who made a phone call. So I told him to end my misery and the call ended. I received a text message after that, hims saying that it is nice meeting you and thank you for the time kind of message. We did not meet my dear, we talked, on the phone, no physical appearance or something, so yeah we did not  meet like literally.

I'll take a pic on his text message cos OMG he finally knows me now. Now that he's graduating with his girlfriend. Now of all time, after 4 years of wondering in the same school he picked this time to recognize my existence. Tragic as it can be. But then again it is just a dream, I repeat just a dream so there is no use in being sooo emotional about it. Then my alarm wakes me up to reality. I turned it off and stupidly went in my inbox and secretly hoping to see an unknown number in there. But no, not even a sign of an alien message. So I went back to sleep.

Why you...

You remind me of someone it's becoming annoying.

Someone whom I should have buried 6 feet under the ground few years ago.

That someone not you, okay?

Your facial expressions, your nose. Urgh that nose!

But rest assured dear, you are more handsome than that someone.

So he's Minho. The protagonist of the K-drama I'm currently watching,

To The Beautiful You.

Kyaaa! Fangirling overload!

Okay. I'm a liar and anyone who believed my previous blog, you don't know me at all dear. Haha. I'm just procrastinating, and truth be told I'm in the climax of Mocking Bird and Ditched: A Love Story and Why We Broke Up. Yes I'm reading three books simultaneously. And I bet that'll be the reason why I won't finish any book at all. I know. I know. That when you're at the peak of the story you just can't put that damn book down even when the lights are off, you light your cellphone and read. That's the feeling I usually have but this time it's just too much. Gaah! I have so many things I want to do but too little time, as if 24-hours is not enough. I'm busier than the man in the White House.

Taking a break! Taking a break from reading, writing, drawing. Too busy watching K-drama. Yee. Since when did I learn to love this thing? I don't know it just happened. O.O

Just read Shatter Me. Quite frankly, it is not as bad as what the reviews says. It is not Hunger-Games-type of thing or Divergent-kind, because in all honesty those two books are just awesome and nothing can be compared. But Shatter Me is in deed not all about dystopia and who cares? Ms. Tahereh is a good author in her own way. Stop comparing books just because they were in the same category. It is a romance novel that happened in a dystopic world. The characters are interesting, Juliette's POV is always clear and Tahereh using metaphors in her writing, I found fascinating.

I am currently reading Destroy Me, an extra chapter before the second book, Unravel Me. It features Warner's POV. Will you hate me if I say that I love him more than Adam? I never thought that I could possibly love him more after reading few chapters of this book. So what it he's psychopath? You can't deny that he is handsome, a face to kill for. Who cares if he's megalomaniac? I love his possessiveness towards Juliette. His twisted mind and actions are the very reason why he is so interesting. He is not that half bad and I wish in a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow that he and Juliette ends up together. Don't get me wrong, I love Adam, he is the hero type, always the nice guy. But the attraction between Adam and Juliette is not as palpable compared with Warner. Or maybe because he is my bias? Warner is the kind of a bad guy that you can't bring to hate.

I will procrastinate my reading in Unravel Me. I mean, I bought those books thinking that it is just a sequel but when I surf the net it is then that I learned that it is a trilogy. And sod it! The final conclusion would be released next year, February 2014. Yes 2014. That is so next year! I don't wanna suffer the pain and joy of waiting, again. I'm still waiting for the third book of Divergent and now another book on my wait list? I can't handle much suffering. So I've decided to read it on December so the wait won't be that long, 2 months is better than waiting for almost a year, right? And so please help me heavens not to be tempted to rip its cover off and open Pandora's box.

Dear People I Love

So I'll be more honest about my feelings. Nobody knows where we will be or how long we'll be here so I'll just say what my heart says.

Jazelle- I'm in love with your words and your works and not with you. So don't flatter yourself. Kidding. You are a great endorser of books. We can talk anything and everything and I enjoyed it. It is fun hearing about your messy love affair. At least you have something to worry about. And I love hearing your sarcastic remarks. Sometimes I don't know if you're giving your honest opinion or your ridiculous sarcasm is kicking in, again. And I'm happy that I can be honest with you.

Fatima- You are one cheeky brat but I love you. You know when I am awkward and points it out. Not to make fun of me but to help me overcome it, you never make me feel uncomfortable. Sometimes I wish you'd pursue Psychology, you know how to deal with people, you understand them. But I know you're happy on whatever path you choose. I am happy you found love and you never ditch us for him. And I bet your planner is busier than I am.

April- You are hilarious. I never met anyone that is so honest and can think of a punch line in every conversation. You say things whether it is good or bad, a trait I admire. I can put my faith in it 100% without even thinking that you're lying behind your pretty white teeth  But sometimes, I feel like you're doubting yourself or you're sad, but I want you to know that you are dearly loved by everyone.

Leslie- You bring out the girlie girlish part of me. We have the same type of men and we fan girl as if there is no tomorrow. Sorry I did not pick your phone call the last time, I do it with everyone so don't take it too personally. We can be loud at extremely different level. But you know how to shut up when you know I don't wanna talk. You give me the silence I need and never felt awkward about it. A silence that we're comfortable of.

Geoff- I love you. You are someone I can seriously spend my life with. Not romantically tho. We both know we are not each other's type. I just think spending every moment with you is never boring. You have much stories than all of us combined. You are funny and amazing and strong, you deserve to be happy and the fact that you throw yourself for someone else's happiness proves how genuine you are.

Jocel- Truth be told I'm afraid of you, sometimes. You can be serious, you can be fun, you can be incredibly clumsy but always know what you're doing. I'm proud on where you are now. I know you can be successful. You have the right drive. You are one of the very few people that understands me. You know what to say in every situation. And I am utterly happy that you always give me space and time in times that I don't wanna talk.

Pablito- The first time I saw you, I know you'll be my friend. I don't know how but I just know. I tease you and you tease me back. You're like my brother but acts like a make-believe-father towards us. You are strong; physically, emotionally and mentally. A true inspiration.

Clary- You're so funny. I never thought I'll be friends with you. Like seriously, you are loud, you can talk non-stop whether it is important or complete trash. But mostly gibberish. I love spending time with you cos you always have something to say. But no matter how loud you can be, you know how to listen. You scare the shit out of me when you are mad and I wish you know how to handle it by time. No matter how many times you say you can't or it's not enough, we all know how much effort you do in your work. You're going to do great things no matter what you choose.

Elmyca- I truly love you. But what happened? No matter how much you love those two boys with you right now, I know you'll going to hate them. Or maybe not. I just hope you're happy with whatever path you're taking. I still love you though.

Family- MOM- you are my inspiration. Thank you for always keeping up with me and encouraging me. Thank you for being the light in my darkest hours. I love you . PAPA- I miss you. I miss running in the house when you're trying to kiss me. I always say that your beard is as irritating as your kisses. Now I miss the old times. How I wish you'll chase me again for kisses, but this time I won't run. I love you. KUYA- you always tell me what to do. And I appreciate you for always looking after me, us. I miss your cooking. Thank you for hugging me whenever I have a night mare during my first year in college. I love you. ATE- you are one insufferable girl. I miss our tirades, I miss hanging out with you, and yes I miss robbing you. I still rob you anyway. You know what I want, what I need, and knows how to make me say yes without me knowing. I love you. IAN- you are very very very irritating sometimes. Sorry for not being a good role model. You act older than I. Sometimes it makes me feel good but mostly, it irritates me. I enjoy you being mean, being sarcastic. I love you.

With my boyfriend. Ain't we sweet? :)

Goodbye Chico.

I have my new obsession.

Meet Tobias Cameroon.

Sweeter than heaven, hotter than hell.

This 2013

They kick ass. Kick Ass II

Monster University!

I loved Monster Inc., so I'll definitely love this one.

The Croods.

With Nicolas Cages', Emma Stones' voice.

The Smurfs 2.

I miss my little blue friends.

Oh Hello there Directioners! XD

Epic movie.

So Undercover

Ain't no Miley fan but yeah I've seen her movies like

Hannah Montana and The Last Song.

I just think her movies are nice.

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2

Another mouth-watering movie.

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters

Oh my Percy, where have you been all my life?

Frozen. A Disney movie.

Oz the Great and the Powerful

Still coaxing my lil bro to watch with me.

Upside Down

Reconnect with your love.

Beautiful Creatures

Gaah! I'm dying to see this one.

The Hobbit 2

Showing on December I think.

Despicable Me 2

One of my favorite animated movie

Next to Shrek.

The Host

I hope this movie will give justice to the book.

Ian is such a hottie but what happened in their casting?

Haha kidding. Just stick on the book

And I know this will be great.

Hunger Games: Catching Fire

No words to describe on how much I'm dying to see this.

I miss you Katniss. I volunteer!

The difference my dear, is that I used to care. Yes, I USED to.

We're grown-ups now, so deal with your own shi*ts like one.

It's been how many years, eh? But by just hearing his name raise my blood to its boiling point. I don't know why I dislike him with so much passion. It's not as if I spend half my life with him and we're not practically close yet he has this effect on me? After all those years? After all has been said and done? He is one of my biggest, dumbest mistake and my brother rubbing that fact in my face gets the toll out of me. I know my brother just teases me and mean no harm but that guy's name is off-limits. I forget him occasionally, I mean I think about him whenever his name is dropped, and that's it. And yes, this will be my last entry about him. Sod it!

They say that the end is near. And of course they say that every year. But there are signs that says it is, it is coming. And it scares the living light out of me. I wanna be part of the Rapture, I mean who wouldn't? But what if I am not good enough? Not holy enough? What if I'm left here during the chaos? What if they torture me and demand that I should leave my beliefs and accept what they are offering instead? Am I confident enough to say NO? Is my faith strong enough to pull me through? No one knows who will spend forever with God and His paradise and who will spend eternity in the fire of hell. Forever and eternity scares me, I mean if you go there, there is no turning back. They say that a camel entering the hole of a needle is easier rather than going in heaven. If I knock will the door be opened or will the ground eat me?

I have these fears cos I haven't fully accepted and understand Him. I love too but I don't know what's keeping me ashore. So God please help me. You're the only one who can.

After Departmental

Finally watched Warm Bodies!

I'm in lurve.

New books.

Thank you National Bookstore for robbing me.

Keeping my bod healthy.

I can't eat the star-shaped mango. It's too cute to eat. 

From PD.

Japanese food from Tokyo Tokyo.

Chocolate Cake and hot Mocha.

Wagas na pagwaldas. Nafrustrate sa Departmental e.

Being Sappy

Wish I could move forward and forget everything. Forget your smile. Your eyes when they twinkle. Forget you. Yes, forget you. I should have known that I should not get too close to anyone cos it won't last. It never does. This thing called love is a trick, it's a lie. And before I knew it, it already bit me in the neck and won't let go as it takes the life out of me.

That talk we shared, we called it a mistake and maybe it was but what if it wasn't? Then I knew that I should just keep my distance from you and continue with what I've had. But you always, always find a way to sneak in at the back of my mind. Then it scares me. It scares me cos as much as possible I don't wanna care, I don't wanna believe in love for there will always be hate. And after all the happiness there is emptiness.

But truth be told sometimes I want you, and today is one of those times. All the wanting eats me away.

Cos I Know Nothing Better

Fooling Around Before Hell Week

Crazier than your Grandma

I did something stupid last night. Like breaking down and crying in the middle of a call. It wasn't my intention to cry, no matter how much of a cry baby I am, and never imagined crying in front of him cos I wanna show him that I am strong. That I am no longer that girl he left 2 years ago. And as much as I want to hate him for treating me like a trash bin whom he'd take a look whenever it is convenient for him, a sigh of relief is what I've had.

I don't even know why I cried in the first place and when I realized that I am crying, it's already too late. He'd been asking me what's wrong and told me that it's okay. And of course that was a lie, nothing is okay. And maybe I am just tired, emotionally and physically drained and he'd just picked the perfect moment to make a call. And the last thing I wanna hear, is his voice.

Presumptuous of Me

"Thank you. I appreciate your concern."

I know I should be happy hearing you say this, but why does it breaks my heart?

That is the last thing I wanna hear from you. You don't know. You don't know. I am doing it cos I liked you and not what you think as a friendly act. Yes I am happy to hear it coming from you cos somehow you recognized my existence but not in the way you put it. Never in the way you see it. Don't get me wrong, I am genuinely concern and terribly want to involve myself because I wanna know you more. Somehow I am doing it for myself too by doing you a favor. It is my fault that I can't bring myself to pull away from you. I thought I'm so over you when you graduated last year but fate is such a strange thing. So I shouldn't be  more surprise when you knock on my door one day and tell me you like me too. And of course that's me and my wishful thinking.

The asymmetry of the world is just absurd. That while I am comforting you, who will comfort me? That while I am moving on, you're always there standing in front of me. I wish that all these bubbles just pop away and leave the hell out of me.

It sure is nice to receive a random phone call from someone. Like you can talk about everything and nothing at the same time. :)

Yay! Finished reading the first two books of Divergent Trilogy. OMG! Cliff hunger of all cliff hungers! The author is such a tease. Why oh why do you have to cut it in the most crucial and most exciting part? I hate how clever you are. I hate that you make it so addicting I barely sleep. And I hate how unpredictable you are and please do tell me why you kill brilliant characters? I hate you as much as I love your works. You're a genius! Mind lending your brain for a day or two?

And so God please help me survive 232 days of waiting for the third and last book to be released in the market. I can't imagine how to survive a day without thinking about it and solving all the puzzle, all the lies and everything! Almost 7 months of eternal waiting. I can do it. October 22, 2013, you better watch out.

Random

From my Pinterest account

Why Men Love Bitches

A friend recommended it. I've been looking everywhere.

National bookstore. Book Sale. E-books but it's not downloadable.

Poor me. Cruel world.

The Secret

I want this one and truth be told it is the cover that captured my eyes.

But a co-worker in my host training establishment told me that it is inspiring and eye-opener.

So maybe it is worth every dime then.

Divergent

Currently obsessing over Tris and Tobias.
And the action and mystery everywhere.

Shatter Me

Sob. Sob.

Tahereh Mafi is having a book signing in NB Glorietta.

I'm thinking of buying it last time but then I saw Divergent.

Without thinking I grabbed the other one and next thing I know 

I'm already paying in the counter.

This should have been the first and maybe only book I'll have

where the author personally signed for me.

Just Give Me a Reason

P!nk ft. Nate.

Two of my favorite people in one MV.

This is how music should be.

Love 'em both. Love the song! Eargasm!