Sorry for being insensitive. Sorry for being tactless and sorry for all those words, no matter what intention I have. The fact that it hurt someone cuts a knife in the delicate part of my heart. It is not my intention to offend or make anyone guilty. I said that in a humorous way but you've took it the other way around. I don't wanna make a drama of my own, seriously. I just thought that people are mature enough to read between the lines or maybe I wasn't clear enough. So there I've said it. I'm sorry and I hope it won't change anything you're too precious for me. Please? Sorry for being childish, impulsive, being a a bore, being clumsy and being slow and for being forever dumb. I won't do it again but I can't change the fact that it happened but rest assured, next time I do something as stupid like that feel free to punch me in the face. Hard.

I was walking back home from 7-Eleven. Then this guy kept on whistling. It's annoying how some guys act like jerks sometimes. He asked for my name but as always I put my head down and count my steps. It's beyond vexing cos he whistle again. What am I dumbass, dog? I have a name mister. Luckily, his companion told him to stop and that I am a lady. It made me smile and believe that not all guys are jerks. They say that chivalry is dead. Well it is not. It might be as extinct as pokemons but it is not completely, utterly dead. Some guys still have them and you are lucky if you meet one.

Humpy

Pinagsama samang sama ng loob sa mga taong pinatawad ko na. If they were forgiven then why am I doing this? May masabi lang at may mapagtawanan pagtanda ko. Kung sa tingin mo wala ka d'yan dalawa lang ibig sabihin nun. Mabuti kang tao o hindi tayo close.

I'll name them Humpy. Why Humpy? Why not? It sounds evil enough for me.

Ikaw. Oo ikaw. Hindi ko alam kung bakit kelangan pang sabihin ang obvious. Oo madami akong imperfections at alam ko yun, alam na alam ko yun. Pero hindi ko alam kung bakit kelangan mo pang ipagduldulan. Does it make you feel better? Does it make you feel superior than I? Hindi ko alam kung bakit may mga taong katulad mo na nasisiyahan sa misfortunes ng iba. Tapos yung mga taong makatawag sayo ng selfish wagas. Binigay mo na lahat lahat tapos isang beses mo lang sila hindi mapagbigyan kung anu-ano na itatawag sayo. Sira-ulo ka pala e. Tanga ka ba? Responsibilidad ba kita? Binigay ko na lahat kulang pa? Ultimo gagamitin ko at oras ko nasa iyo na nagreklamo ba ako? Hindi naman diba? Kasi binigay at ginawa ko yun ng walang kapalit and the least that you can do is say thank you  pero hindi, kahit labas sa ilong na pasasalamat wala. Sa kapal ng mukha mo nahiya na ang kalabaw, nagawa mo pang manlait at isiping may kapalit ang gawa ko. Bakit alam ko ang iniisip mo? Yun ang pinapakita mo e. At sa ginagawa at iniisip mong yan it makes me think and assess all the things I've done. Siguro nga ikaw ganun, ang sarap mo sigurong gayahin at gawin ang ibinibintang mo. Kaso hindi. Hinding hindi ako magpapadikta sa'yo. Pero ito malupit, yung mga taong kinaiinisan ko ng sobra e yung katulad mo Humpy. Yung mga taong walang ginawa kundi isisi sa iba yung mga pangit na nangyari sa kanila. E ano bang ginawa mo para itama yun, point your finger on someone? Pero pagmaganda ang kinalabasn gusto mo sa iyo lahat ng credit kahit na ang ginawa mo lang naman ay hawiin ang bangs ng pobreng batang walang ginawa kundi pagandahin yang pinagyayabang mong obra maestra. Ikaw na bida. Lubid you like? Naiinis din ako sayo dahil kahit hindi mo sabihin e alam ko kung anong tingin mo sa akin. Isang batang walang alam sa mundo, tanga, bobo at madaling mauto. Actually hindi naman sa uto-uto ako masunurin lang. At saka pwede ba pakibaba babaan ang pride? Maging humble ka naman at idikit ang mukha mo sa lupa. Alam mo ng mali ka pero dahil sa masyadong mataas ang tingin mo sa sarili mo e sa iba mo pa din ibe-blame. Bakit? Kasi nga magaling ka. Hindi nagkakamali. Hindi pumapalya. Oo sa kayabangan numero uno ka. At pwede ba pagmagtatanong ka wag sa akin? Nabubwisit kasi ako sa tuwing magtatanong ka tapos hindi ka maniniwala. Parang hihingi ng payo pero hindi papakinggan. Para ka lang kumain at tae agad ang kinalabasan. Hindi man lang dinigest pinalabas agad. Sayang ang sustansya. At ito ang matindi, may ititindi ka pa pala akalain mo yun? Maliban sa mapapel ka, star ng bayan e self-centered ka pa. Hindi mo man lang naisip ang mararamdaman ng tao sa tuwing sinasabi mo yun. Gusto mo laging ikaw ang una, wala namang masama doon lahat naman tayo gustong number one. Pero sana isipin mo din na hindi sa lahat ng kategorya e ikaw ang nangunguna. At kung sa tingin mo magaling ka, may mas gagaling pa sayo lagi. Always. There is always someone bigger and better than you. Live with it. Kasing baho ng ugali mo ang paa mo. Taglish ito para maintindihan mo.

Gusto kitang gustuhin tuwing inaaway mo ako. Pero minsan mas naiinis ako sa sarili ko kasi hinayaan kong gawin mo yun. At naiinis din ako dahil hindi ko kayang magalit ng todo, sagad at aabot ng bukas. Siguro kasi ganito ako pinalaki. Wag magtatanim ng sama ng loob dahil papangit ka na papangit pa ugali mo. Infairness effective naman ang pananakot ni mama. Duhh. Pangit na nga ako magpapapangit pa lalo? Anong mukha na lang ang ihaharap ko sa tao? At isa pa pagnararamdaman ko ng nagagalit ako iniisip ko kung bakit ako nagagalit. Sa taong ito ba o sa ginawa n'ya? Bakit n'ya ginawa yun? Anong dahilan n'ya? Pag hindi ako na-satisfy sa sagot sa sarili kong tanong e hindi ako magagalit. E paano ba yan madalas pangit ang sagot ko kaya ang tumal kong magalit. Nakakainis diba? Naisip ko lang din pagnagalit ako, sarili ko lang naman ang pinahihirapan ko. Alam ba nung taong yun na galit ako sa kanya? Kung alam n'ya ano naman sa kanya diba, hindi naman n'ya ikayayaman yun. Pinapahirapan ko na nga ang sarili ko pumapangit pa ako. Sinong talo? Ako! Siguro si Humpy din ako minsan. Sa ibang tao malaking monster din ako hindi ko sila masisisi katulad lang din naman nila akong tao. Madaming pagkakamali. Madaming flaws.

And another reason kung bakit hindi ko inugaling magtanim ng sama ng loob e dahil takot ako sa maaaring magawa ko. Oo nagagalit ako, like tuwing nag-aaway kami ng kapatid ko e gusto ko na s'ya itulak sa dumadaang pison pero itulog ko lang o kaya hindi n'ya lang ako pansinin e mangungulit na naman ako na parang walang nagyari. Baliw baliwan ata ang uso ngayon? And hate is a scary thing. Parang you can sacrifice your own happiness just for the sake of hating someone. I don't wanna live that kind of life.

Yay! First Tagalog entry? Taray.

Who Said I'm Bored?

I prefer paper back or hardbound books than e-books.

The joy of having and holding it in your hands is irreplaceable.

Unwrapping a book is like opening a present for Christmas.

Your first sip of hot choco in a cold morning.

And the smell. Oh the smell of its paper!

It's like the smell of turkey in Thanksgiving.

Reading books is like living in different worlds, in different era.

It's like living in reality and fantasy and everything in between.

My first painting.

Erm excuse me for that but that is the best thing I can do.

Ain't no painter. Frustrated painter. Nyaha!

Doodles.

HunterxHunter unfinished.

Chibi!

Memories of us.

This is my favorite work.

Second favorite.

It's been 3 months since I last hold my pencil and sketchbook.

Busier than ever. Oh bring back my life.

I've collected a total of 70 books (excluding e-books. Gasp!)

Taking my first step in building my mini-library.

I'm living more than one life now.

Tissue Story. When I am bored and have tissue or anything  in sight

where I can write while waiting.

Stress ball from Mae.

She's a sweet little girl.

Cakes and caffeine when I'm depress.

Day 23: List 10 Movies You Never Get Tired Watching

1. A Walk To Remember

2. Pitch Perfect

3. Perks of Being a Wallflower

4. Harry Potter (All of it!)

5. Happily Ever-After

6. Shrek

7. Toy Story

8. 27 Dresses

9. Letters to Juliet

10. Ice Age

Day 19: Write About Something You Fear

I can name a dozen of things that scares me. Like falling out of the bed in the middle of a good dream, crossing the street, having a dirt on my face without my knowledge while parading in a crowded place, when my OTP don't end up together or having a slow internet connection. But my greatest fear is losing my family. I love my family so much that I am willing to jump in a train for them, even though I don't know what kind of reason I'll have to jump in a train but I will. They are my world, they love me unconditionally and accept my flaws. I can't even imagine living in a world without them. It's like every breath you take brings you pain and you wish that each breath would be the last one. Knowing that the very few people who knows you and stand by you are not here anymore is worst than hell.