Planes & Scissors

The thing is he calls me in name I prefer most but tells no one. Like you used to.

He tells me things about myself I'm not aware of. Like you used to.

He tease me in our first meeting like we're close friends meeting again for so long. Like the way we started.

I want to know him more but it scares me. I'm afraid that the more I get to know him, the more of your shadow will reveal itself. I'm afraid that I will see you in him and I know it's wrong. It is wrong. But like a train wreck, the scene is completely horrifying but I can't stop watching.

Take a Chance

My jam for  a week now.

Missed chances and forgotten promises.
Everything around me is sad,
And beautiful.
But I don't mind at all.

To My First True Love

"I'm sure you're my first love because I know one's first love isn't the first person you love or the first person who breaks your heart, not even the first person you were in a relationship with. Your first love is the first person who leaves a mark on your heart—a mark so deep that its life reaches the tips of your fingers and toes, a mark so deep that it transcends time and becomes your ruler for anyone who crosses paths with you even years after your first love said goodbye."

~Ayessa De La Pena

I feel guilty that I am not having the emotions I should be having right now. It sure hurt the first time, second time, third time. I thought it will always hurt the same way like it was the first time. But this time it's different. I feel nothing, think nothing of it. I don't grew numb, I guess I just got tired of it. 

Empty

Empty is the glass of wine sipped in a dark room alone.
Empty is a book beautifully written in ink without compassion.
Empty is the sky full of stars without the warmth of a loved one.
Empty.
Like your words, sugar-coated, honey-deep but empty.
Never assuring just words spoken at the most perfect time.
Delivered delicately with endearing voice and calm smile,
but never honest, never your deep thoughts. Never the person you truly are.
Empty is the heart of a broken man.

Empty, like my thoughts of you.

I fall in love with every broken pieces that you are. With every cut I got just to have you by my side, with every damage and scars I love you more and more. Cos I know you are worth of it all.

I fall in love with the mess that you are. Don't search for your home, cos I will be the shelter you need when storm comes and try to take you down. I will be the anchor in your journey, give me the privilege to be your stronghold, not because I am strong to be one but because you are by my side that I can be one.

I fall in love with the frailty that surrounds you. I want to hear your worries, your stories of brokenness. Don't fear to be judged for I know that I will love you more because of the woman that you are. How strong you've been and how brave you are. Now give me the chance to take care of you and cherish you. For heaven knows that a girl like you deserves all the happiness in this world.

Fall in love with me, please be brave once again and fall for me. I've been hurt, beaten and left like a trash. I've been lifeless and worthless and hopeless, until the day that I've met you. Love is beautiful, it is one of the most wonderful gifts in the world. Take my hand and let's rewrite your faith in love. For I've seen mine in yours and I want you to see that in me too.

Fall in love with me and once again believe in fairytales. I know our journey won't be easy, but I know that we will make it through cos our love is real. It is there, I am here. All you have to do is to take one more step, one more heavy breath. Just grit your teeth and walk out of that tunnel of fears for I will be waiting at the end of it. I love you and don't deny me that fact.

I fall in love with you cos you're a wall I cannot climb but wish to tear down. Gently, slowly I will strip you with every defenses that you build. I will, not because you're just another puzzle I wish to unfold but because I know that if I hurt you, it will pain me more.

I won't fix you, cos I know that no one can. For only you can say when you are healed, when you are happy and smile genuinely. But don't stop me from showering you compliments you deserve. Let me help you to see this world in different perspective. You are not the person you think that you are, you are more than that. Everyone is flawed and imperfect and I will love you still. So please don't stop me from loving you cos it's already too late. I fall in love with you; I keep on falling. Hard.

I know that I've been warned, I already braced myself with the thought of being hurt because of you. And I'm glad to say that I could only care less for I know that loosing you is far worse than that.

PS.

This is a little girl's reply to your 'Do Not Love Me' thingy. I wish you can love yourself as much as other people love you. Smile and don't hold yourself back, never think that you don't deserve to be happy.

PSS.
Purely fictional, speaking as if I'm the man you're talking about.