Once

I never realized how lonely I am until today. How desperate of me to cling on the belief that I am happy. How can I fool you when I can't even fool myself? Or maybe I already fooled you cos I'm a good actress. Now I know how hard it is to smile everyday. That today is a good day and hopefully convince myself that it is a good life after all. But I know something is off, just can't put it in words.

I don't even know who to talk to. I've been dearly honest and open with my parents but not this time. I don't wanna worry them, that is the last thing I wanna do. I don't want to tell my closest friend. I can but I don't want to. She already had enough in her plate. She knows how pathetic I am and I know that she'll do something once I told her everything. She's like that, she'll do everything she can to help and it includes throwing herself in, that is why I don't wanna tell her.

But those things we're so the day before yesterday. Feelin' better now. Thanks to His guidance.

:)