First Love

My first love was when I was in grade school. Grade 6 to be exact. He is the epitome of the man I would never fall for. But I was a fool, I did. He is arrogant but he can be gentle. He's conceited thinking that every girl would gladly kiss his ass but yes, he is undeniably handsome and anyone would do anything to have that chance.

He is the one who gave me that stupid love letter as what I have been talking about with my previous blog. So you better read it if you want to know why I liked him. How I met him. And our tragic ending.

Back then I was young, I think it's just the adrenaline of being a youth and wanting to explore things and that I'm so excited to have that sudden rush of my own heartbeat and butterflies in my stomach whenever I see him, my own assumption drive me to that conclusion that I liked him. I used to deny that fact tho, cos I used to hate him. Hate him. Hate him. So much. He used to like my sister when he was in grade 5 my sissy was in grade 6. But when my sissy entered high school she's already dating a guy. So I don't know why he diverted his attention on me. Maybe he's frustrated and depressed and obsessed, or a mixture of everything? I don't know and I haven't got the chance to know the answer.

But at the latter part of my stay in that school, our heated exchange of love letters and accusations of who stares who, I can somehow feel that he genuinely liked me. Or maybe that's what I want to see? First love or not, whether our feelings are mutual or one-sided, I am happy to know him. Happy that I fell in love with a man like him. He is impossible to predict, a ball of contradiction. And up until now I still wanna see him and the man he had become.