Snap.

Today, I've lost it. I snapped. My patience broke and the tiny thread to my sanity have been cut. It's nowhere to be found. I swear. I said words I never used, nevertheless imagined to use. I've never shouted to anyone out of anger or range, and I don't know what kind of evil possessed me to do something unspeakable. Despicable. I don't know, I really,  genuinely, absolutely don't know what happened to me. And after doing that I felt worst. I'm actually in the brink of crying for a reason I still don't know. I blinked  back the water that is threatening to fall from my eyes while I'm walking back. And the worst part is I don't have enough reason to cry. Nah, I don't even have a reason to cry to begin with.

And when I got home, I felt like a crap and my conscience is crawling and creeping fast, like a bullet train eating me whole. My mouth betrayed me. I am sorry on what I have done but not sorry on what I've said. I acknowledge that I am at fault for shouting at him but not sorry enough on what I have had said.

I don't know what it is in me today. Maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Maybe it's in the food I ate. My aching feet. Or maybe it's just me. I never thought that I am actually capable of being that pissed and be vocal about it. I discovered that part of me today with his help, even though in the process of knowing, hurt him in the end. He'll get over it. We'll get over it. We're good friends after all. :)